Liking things (plus audience participation questions!) Wednesday, Oct 21 2009 

Which did I enjoy more? Michael Jackson. Which did I listen to more? The Day-Glo Abortions. And made sure everybody knew it.”

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Comedy duo Team Submarine have a bit where they pitch a hypothetical reality TV show in which, every week, Nate (the beardy one) would punk Steve (the non-beardy one) into liking the Red Hot Chili Peppers.[1] (I saw this a while ago, so I hope I’ve correctly remembered which one is the punker and which the punkee.) Steve, you see, HATES the Red Hot Chili Peppers more than any other band, whereas Nate thinks they have a few okay songs.

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If you think THAT’S the scariest slash on the web… Wednesday, Oct 14 2009 

From the department of things it would never have occurred to me to complain about:

How many times have you cursed the web gods when your browser went astray after you mangled the web address/URL by omitting the two slashes (strokes) or using the accursed backslashes? How many times have you had to take a cough drop after telling someone a URL: “it’s ach tee tee pee colon backslash backslash…no, freakin’ Microsoft…that’s forward slash forward slash gee oh oh gee ell ee dot cee oh em….What, you want me to repeat it? That’s ach tee tee colon forward slash….forget it.["?]

…Never, IIRC. I mean, first of all, most browsers have done the http:// for you automatically for like ten years. Ten? Maybe seven or eight? I feel like it became really pervasive while I was in college. But why, even in the nineties, would I have been mad at Sir Tim Berners-Lee when I made a typo? And is it so terrible to have to look at a 404 page for five seconds?

Everything annoys someone, so there must be people who are specifically annoyed by those slashes, but I have never made or heard such a complaint. And while we’re here, why does anyone still start with the http when saying a URL out loud? Apparently some people do, but honestly you shouldn’t. I mean, if someone doesn’t understand the part before www by now, it’s okay, because they don’t have to anymore, because their browser will put it in for them.

I can’t think of a common reason to say all that crap out loud unless 1) you are tech support, in which case, even if the person you are talking to has already gone to the URL and is reading you the words thereon, you apparently have to go over it again very carefully including the physical location of the forward slash on the keyboard, at least if the customer you’re talking to is a girl;[1] or 2) you’re helping your parent who’s on an old machine and can’t remember how a URL works no matter how many times you’ve done this,[2] in which case dealing with a couple of forward slashes is not all that much work, considering everything your parent(s) did for you.

Sir Tim, there’s nothing wrong with your strokes. It’s very nice of you to continue thinking about ways that the user experience of your tremendous gift to the world could have been improved — I imagine, thinking of the computer scientists I’ve known, that it’s probably also involuntary that you continue to do so — but if it weren’t the strokes, it would be something else. People who write silly semi-humorous science-and-technology fluff pieces will always find something to pretend is really hard about using the internet.

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P.S. Yes, I know that URLs are not the only kind of URI, but what we are talking about here is URLs and the use thereof in everyday web browsing, and you know perfectly well that that’s what we’re talking about, imaginary pedantic commenter in my head.

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[1] Not that I have been on the customer end of that conversation or anything!

[2] For the record, my mom had to learn to use the web when she was well into adulthood, and she got the hang of it several years ago and now she uses “Yelp” as a verb.

ObQueer: Sunday, Oct 11 2009 

Sorry this has sort of turned into a tumbleblog lately. Work is under way to correct the problem. We hope to be moving shortly.

Meanwhile, here’s a National Coming Out Day video from straight ally David Ellis Dickerson, author of House of Cards. It’s fairly, like, gay-dude-centric rather than LGBTQ-inclusive, but it’s also very sweet and I hope you’ll take a few minutes to watch the whole thing. It’s a touching reminder of how being honest about yourself lifts up not just you but everyone around you.

Oh, and a reminder of how religious fundamentalism can screw you up real bad but nonetheless there’s hope. That too.

quotation of the day Friday, Oct 9 2009 

What kind of mom-ass question is “Why do you prefer men?”

Dave Holmes, My Year of Everything

quotation of the day Sunday, Oct 4 2009 

My conception of the audience is of a public each member of which is carrying about with him what he thinks is an anxiety, or a hope, or a preoccupation which is his alone and isolates him from mankind; and in this respect at least the function of a play is to reveal him to himself so that he may touch others by virtue of the revelation of his mutuality with them. If only for this reason I regard the theater as a serious business, one that makes or should make man more human, which is to say, less alone.

Arthur Miller, Collected Plays (1958), introduction

not a review: part four Wednesday, Sep 16 2009 

(parts zero, one, two, three)

Where was I?

Right. Minnesota.

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Initial thoughts on Inglourious Basterds Friday, Aug 21 2009 

Don’t worry! I’m putting it behind a cut!

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Dear Demetri Martin Saturday, Aug 15 2009 

Hi, Demetri Martin. I’m wondering something, and I assume that this will be by default a rhetorical question, but if you happen to be googling yourself this weekend I’d certainly welcome an answer.

That cute little story that you told on the Tonight Show, the one with no actual punchline, about how funny it is that your character in Taking Woodstock is gay and playing the part involved kissing a dude — is that going to be your anecdote every time you make a promotional appearance for this movie? I’m asking so I can change the channel when I see you, because I am so tired of this story.

Let me explain, because maybe you haven’t noticed this. Every time a straight dude has to kiss another straight dude for a movie or TV show, Demetri — every fucking time — he goes on to tell cute little stories about it, and how straight he is! and yet he kissed a dude! how droll! on all his promotional appearances on The Chat Shows and the Colour Supplements[tm], and everyone titters appropriately.

Or, if he doesn’t come in with a cute story about it, they wrangle one out of him.

Wasn’t it really difficult to kiss another man? Implied: Without throwing up, seeing as you’re so obviously straight? What were you thinking as you kissed? Did you rehearse it? What was it liiiiiike?

As the WaPo article linked above mentions, this offensive nonsense reached a fever pitch for some of us when David Letterman interviewed James Franco about his role in a movie about Harvey frigging Milk and still felt it was necessary to make a great display (that felt like it would never end) of his absolute gross-out at the idea of two male actors being required to kiss each other for a movie. The fact that this was riiiiight after Prop 8 passed may have contributed to how particularly infuriating this crap from Letterman was, but, y’know, if you go watch the clip[1] it was pretty goddamn infuriating.

Demetri Martin, you’re an “alternative” comedian, as I understand it. There’s no reason for you to feel like you have to do this. You didn’t actually, when you were telling the story, seem to have a particularly strong opinion of the dude-kissing one way or another. (Granted, this might be because your comic persona doesn’t lend itself to the appearance of strong opinions, but still.) Maybe you thought you had to do it because you were on the Tonight Show and Harry and Louise were watching you from Middle America and you wanted to make sure they knew that you’re totally not gay?

Odd thing is, on top of everything else that’s wrong with that, the Tonight Show audience wasn’t that into your story (except when Shaq moved away from you on the couch at your mention of kissing a guy, but even that may have been more like a “Shaq did something” laugh). The house full of Universal Studios tourists didn’t actually think it was hilarious that you were dropped into all this SURPRISE GAY in your first lead movie role. You could try acting like you don’t think it’s hilarious either.


[1] I’m not actually recommending that you, reader, watch the Letterman clip, by the way. Unless perhaps you are a straight person thinking about the best way to promote a gay movie. Then I think you should watch it, and maybe imagine while watching it that Harvey Milk is a personal hero of yours (from your hometown, incidentally) who fought for your civil rights rather than some guy whose life story provides a great opportunity for David Letterman to crack homophobic jokes.

The misogynist murders in Pennsylvania Friday, Aug 7 2009 

I got a search hit for “pennsylvania shooting feminism” here (I guess from the posts in the Twitter sidebar); a lot of people are covering this much better than I have the stomach to, so in case anyone else winds up here looking for information on George Sodini’s woman-hating massacre, here are some of the good pieces I’ve seen.

NB: Basically everything here should be considered potentially triggering.

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Various answers to stupid questions Wednesday, Aug 5 2009 

Emphasis Jack Shafer’s:

Has it really come to the point that you can’t call the secretary of state of the most powerful nation on earth a mad bitch in a comedy segment without people becoming unhinged and managing editors running for the exits?

1) Oh, come the fuck on.

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