If your comment has not made it through the moderation queue Friday, Dec 11 2009

Hello again, everybody. For the most part, the comments that have appeared in my inbox since the Hope Witsell post exploded yesterday have been courteous, respectful, sometimes heart-rending, and/or, at the very least, non-horrible. As noted below, I did turn moderation on, and while I don’t want to spend too much time focusing on that piece of admin, I’m taking a quick break from the moderation queue itself to briefly note some of the possible reasons you might not be seeing your comment in the comment thread.

1. I am not at my computer 24/7.

I’m totally unequipped for this volume of traffic, and I’m not going to turn off comment moderation until shit gets less crazy in here, so it might be a few hours or even longer before I am in a position to approve or unapprove your comment. (I had to check my math a couple of times but today’s traffic really is upwards of a 300,000% increase from the average daily visitors here. So… I appreciate your patience.)

(1a. I might have clicked the wrong thing. I’m trying to moderate very carefully, but I am only human.)

2. You are obviously a troll.

This category of commenter (the “you’re retarded and she was a dumb slut” category) already knows why their comment wasn’t approved, of course; I’m basically just including it to note that I’ve seen a bunch of comments in that style come through the queue.

3. You believe, or claim to believe, that the kid got what she deserved.

3a. serves her right for being a slut
3b. she was a dumb, whiny emo kid and she should have sucked it up
3c. that’s what you get for using technology irresponsibly (SERIOUSLY?)
3d. serves her right for not inventing sex-positive feminism sui generis at age 13

4. You “agree” with the post in a way that constitutes inappropriate comment behavior.

I say “agree” in quotation marks because, although there is certainly no mistaking the ideological territory that I’m standing on here, the Hope Witsell post is a cri de coeur and not, like, a position paper. (Which is one reason that I’m not replying to a whole lot of the comments, another one being point 1 above.) Anyway: This category includes comments that wish violence on anybody, or that attack a religious faith or its adherents, or are otherwise not cool by my standards.

5. Miscellaneous bullshit.

Like Potter Stewart, I know it when I see it.

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Hello, entire internet Thursday, Dec 10 2009

ETA: Hey everybody. I’m going to bed and the reddit traffic is just starting to come in, plus it’s breakfast time GMT. All this is to say that I’ve turned on comment moderation for the time being. I’m sure you understand.

Hello, seventeen hundred twenty-five hundred four thousand really quite a lot of people, largely from the very fine readership at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Um. Thank you for reading. Mostly here at Sylvia Has A Problem it’s a lot of yelling about pop-cultural ephemera. Hope the place is in a decent state. Let me know if I can get you anything.

Uh.

Have you guys read Eating Animals yet? Pretty powerful stuff.

ETA: I just looked at my referrer logs and there’s NEIL GAIMAN TWITTER TRAFFIC coming in. Guys, as you arrive please be aware that I am just a random person and this place usually gets a couple hundred views a month. I appreciate the kind words about the Hope Witsell post and it gives my angry carbonized little heart some hope to see how much this story has struck a chord with people. So far the comments section has stayed pretty reasonable, and I hope everyone continues to be polite to each other. Thanks very much. See you when I get home tonight.

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The 13-year-olds who molested each other, and other ways to become a registered sex offender Friday, Dec 4 2009

And so today I saw someone link to this video of blogger maymay presenting at KinkForAll DC on the dangers of sexual adultism.

He talks too fast, but if you can listen fast enough you should check it out. The material he covers is very much to the point of the last couple days of posts here.

ETA: I’m trying to get the video to embed, but it’s not working. Hm.

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Addendum Thursday, Dec 3 2009

Hey folks, the post from yesterday has already gotten more traffic than anything else I’ve put up here. I can’t be at the blog a lot today, but I thought it would be good to drop some links here to organizations and advocacy groups that I think are, in various ways, relevant. You know, if you want to do something. (Or if you feel like you might need some help.)

Girls Inc — “Girls Incorporated is a national nonprofit youth organization dedicated to inspiring all girls to be strong, smart, and bold. With roots dating to 1864, Girls Inc has provided vital educational programs to millions of American girls, particularly those in high-risk, underserved areas. Today, innovative programs help girls confront subtle societal messages about their value and potential, and prepare them to lead successful, independent, and fulfilling lives.”

Advocates for Youth — “Advocates for Youth champions efforts to help young people make informed and responsible decisions about their reproductive and sexual health. Advocates believes it can best serve the field by boldly advocating for a more positive and realistic approach to adolescent sexual health.”

Scarleteen: Sex Education for the Real World — “Sexuality information and education are as important to personal safety as learning how to look both ways when crossing the street is. Sexuality is a facet of human life no matter how we do or do not use it, and is as much as facet as eating, breathing, speaking and thinking. To eschew its existence is to deprive those who need the information of a large aspect of self.”

Hopeline is a well-established general 24-hour suicide/crisis hotline. There are a lot of youth-focused hotlines and resources out there, but I’m not as well-informed about them as I once was (I’m most familiar with the LGBTQ-focused resources like the Trevor Project).

I still don’t totally understand what-all To Write Love on Her Arms does, but they seem to be pretty hot right now and to have a strong community going on. They’re youth-driven and youth-focused and their stated mission is “presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.” (Their origin is Christian, though there seems to be no particular religious bent to their work.)

Anyone know anything about Befrienders? They seem cool.

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What happened to Hope Witsell Wednesday, Dec 2 2009

Look, like I said on Twitter (where I heard about this tragedy via Kate Bornstein), this story is so enraging and depressing that I’m actually not even feeling the rage and depression, I’m kind of numb, so, make the choice advisedly whether or not to read on.

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I have not yet watched the full episode — Sunday, Nov 22 2009

I have a large book to finish reading or at least skimming before tomorrow, plus I suspect this monologue is not necessarily representative of the watchability of the rest of the show —

but I had five minutes to spare for this, and so do you.

*

Most actors are unemployed, yet the fact remains that it is hard to find a first-rate cast for any play. The only large group of actors who know how to do anything is the “hoofer” group. It is with this in mind that I am using so smiling a subject as Miss Lillie as theme for a sermon. She can do things; and the concept of the actor as one who does things is unhappily receding before the concept of the actor as folk hero (film-star, covergirl) and the actor as common man (who doesn’t know how to speak, sit, stand, or walk, let alone sing, dance, and turn cartwheels).

Eric Bentley, The Dramatic Event (1954)

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presented almost without comment Friday, Nov 20 2009

One such lawmaker is Sen. Chris Buttars (R), who, despite his adamant support for an earlier proposition that banned same-sex marriage, does believe that sexual orientation deserves protection from employer and landlord abuse. However, while explaining his opposition to allowing same-sex couples to adopt children, he told the press that while he doesn’t “mind” gays, he doesn’t want them “stuffing it down [his] throat all the time“:

BUTTARS: I meet with the gays here and there. They were in my house two weeks ago. I don’t mind gays. But I don’t want ‘em stuffing it down my throat all the time. Certainly not in my kid’s face.

This is amazing as it stands and can’t really be improved on. But, as I heard a Chicago stand-up comic (can’t remember his name, so if you can attribute this lemme know) say recently about people who don’t mind gays as long as they don’t get in your face:

“Where do you live that gay guys are having sex in your face? Because that neighborhood must be SO CLEAN.”

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This is my Veteran’s Day post Wednesday, Nov 11 2009

They strove to stand to attention, to straighten the toil-bowed back;
They drilled on an empty stomach, the loose-knit files fell slack;
With stooping of weary shoulders, in garments tattered and frayed,
They shambled into his presence, the last of the Light Brigade.

The old Troop-Sergeant was spokesman, and “Beggin’ your pardon,” he said,
“You wrote o’ the Light Brigade, sir. Here’s all that isn’t dead.
An’ it’s all come true what you wrote, sir, regardin’ the mouth of hell;
For we’re all of us nigh to the workhouse, an’ we thought we’d call an’ tell.

“No, thank you, we don’t want food, sir; but couldn’t you take an’ write
A sort of ‘to be continued’ and ’see next page’ o’ the fight?
We think that someone has blundered, an’ couldn’t you tell ‘em how?
You wrote we were heroes once, sir. Please, write we are starving now.”

http://supportyourvet.org/
http://iava.org/blog/
http://www.veteransforpeace.org/

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Liking things (plus audience participation questions!) Wednesday, Oct 21 2009

“Which did I enjoy more? Michael Jackson. Which did I listen to more? The Day-Glo Abortions. And made sure everybody knew it.”

*

Comedy duo Team Submarine have a bit where they pitch a hypothetical reality TV show in which, every week, Nate (the beardy one) would punk Steve (the non-beardy one) into liking the Red Hot Chili Peppers.[1] (I saw this a while ago, so I hope I’ve correctly remembered which one is the punker and which the punkee.) Steve, you see, HATES the Red Hot Chili Peppers more than any other band, whereas Nate thinks they have a few okay songs.

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If you think THAT’S the scariest slash on the web… Wednesday, Oct 14 2009

From the department of things it would never have occurred to me to complain about:

How many times have you cursed the web gods when your browser went astray after you mangled the web address/URL by omitting the two slashes (strokes) or using the accursed backslashes? How many times have you had to take a cough drop after telling someone a URL: “it’s ach tee tee pee colon backslash backslash…no, freakin’ Microsoft…that’s forward slash forward slash gee oh oh gee ell ee dot cee oh em….What, you want me to repeat it? That’s ach tee tee colon forward slash….forget it.["?]

…Never, IIRC. I mean, first of all, most browsers have done the http:// for you automatically for like ten years. Ten? Maybe seven or eight? I feel like it became really pervasive while I was in college. But why, even in the nineties, would I have been mad at Sir Tim Berners-Lee when I made a typo? And is it so terrible to have to look at a 404 page for five seconds?

Everything annoys someone, so there must be people who are specifically annoyed by those slashes, but I have never made or heard such a complaint. And while we’re here, why does anyone still start with the http when saying a URL out loud? Apparently some people do, but honestly you shouldn’t. I mean, if someone doesn’t understand the part before www by now, it’s okay, because they don’t have to anymore, because their browser will put it in for them.

I can’t think of a common reason to say all that crap out loud unless 1) you are tech support, in which case, even if the person you are talking to has already gone to the URL and is reading you the words thereon, you apparently have to go over it again very carefully including the physical location of the forward slash on the keyboard, at least if the customer you’re talking to is a girl;[1] or 2) you’re helping your parent who’s on an old machine and can’t remember how a URL works no matter how many times you’ve done this,[2] in which case dealing with a couple of forward slashes is not all that much work, considering everything your parent(s) did for you.

Sir Tim, there’s nothing wrong with your strokes. It’s very nice of you to continue thinking about ways that the user experience of your tremendous gift to the world could have been improved — I imagine, thinking of the computer scientists I’ve known, that it’s probably also involuntary that you continue to do so — but if it weren’t the strokes, it would be something else. People who write silly semi-humorous science-and-technology fluff pieces will always find something to pretend is really hard about using the internet.

*

P.S. Yes, I know that URLs are not the only kind of URI, but what we are talking about here is URLs and the use thereof in everyday web browsing, and you know perfectly well that that’s what we’re talking about, imaginary pedantic commenter in my head.

*

_{[1] Not that I have been on the customer end of that conversation or anything!}

_{[2] For the record, my mom had to learn to use the web when she was well into adulthood, and she got the hang of it several years ago and now she uses “Yelp” as a verb.}

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